Friday, January 21, 2011

Old Posts: The Calamity Of Hope

So here it finally is... the calamity of hope. In 25 clicks, I am a snapshot of my self. I have become ego – they say the I, me, my is the essence of the ego. There is only I, me and myself left. No your, our, us, we. And I believe I shall be ego forever.

The calamity of hope is its loss. Suddenly the reasons disappear. The emptiness reveals its true larger than life nature. The eye forgets to blink. The heart quails at the vastness and enormity of the yawning stretching life ahead. How to deal with the frightening everyday? Searching searching searching for answers that are masters of disguise and me, an inadequate amateur desperate detective.

But the mind is ever seeking strength… otherwise it will disintegrate. And in its forceful effort it says, "Count your blessings". The heart laughs in great mirth. Blessings? Another's prayers have proven stronger than mine. The betrayal of the Gods is too big to swallow.

I have learnt that simple tears can change a man. That holy water can make him forget promises… withdraw and transfer that life-giver, hope, to the shedder of tears. I am woman. My promises are for keeps. And my promise to this snapshot is that no tear will fall from these unblinking eyes for as long as I live and breathe and remain made of stone.

Something significant has stopped inside of me. It has met its end, with no one to mourn its going. Here and now, ladies and gentlemen, is the end of hope. Here is the end of dreams.

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