February 3, 2019
She wandered
As
passersby looked askance
At the
unstoppable tears
Streaming.
The river
in her
Had
turned into the sea
She
wandered
Looking
for herself.
The self
she had lost
To the
sea roaring
The salt
drying
On her
eyelashes.
Breaking
them
One by
one
She
wandered
To the
familiar.
The
memories
Of a
river
She sat
At the
same tables.
She
looked through
The same
eyes
The
memories
Of blue
now
Turned
again
Into
unrelenting grey
She
looked through
The sea
furious
Straining
to see
If the
memories
Still
lived
In her,
yes.
She
counted her steps
On the
concrete
A gaping
hole in her
Filled
with a swirling sea.
She
mocked herself
For her
vanity
For
believing in love
For
believing.
She
turned on herself
Clawing at
her sea-filled eyes
Talons in
her stomach
Ice in
her veins.
She
screamed endlessly
Without a
sound
The
traitor heart
Elsewhere,
forever.
She is
waiting
For her
mind
To tell
her
To stop
the pain.
Incoherent,
she waits
For some
order
A final
decision
That final
push.
She drowned
in the violent sea
Of her
own making
What is
left is the shell
Which too
must turn to ash.
That familiar
jumble
That
familiar horror and anxiety
That
familiar madness
Has crept
up again.
